[x]

The Rat BoyThere was a rat boy, so timid and small.
Everything in this world, seemed so tall.

To everyone, he was minuscule,
a lonely, livid, leaf, inside his school.

There came his oppressors, his offenders,
and in a diary he'd write, hidden in his dresser.

Dear Diary
Day one

They found out I was a bastard son.
Hunted me like a fox, all for fun.
I guess to them,
i'm just a joke,
with a very weak pun.

Dear Diary
Day 22

More abuse, do I deserve this? What's the excuse?
They knocked out a tooth, found themselves amused.

Oh well. You have me, I have you, what's that Diary?
I love you too.

Dear Diary
Day 43

Too tired, too weak, sorry diary lets bot

Cordis Somnium*Fall past the asphalt
Thro’ the honey bee scene
Dip thy feet within
Naides’ yielding stream.

Thine arms splayed toward Hyades
A grey morn consumes the sun
Rain brings silk to the heat fraught meadow;
For time to touch thy form, it must run.

And thine hair was a mess after the rain.
“Will you ask it of me soon?”
Before the world is found to be concrete and sprinkled streets
“Before my qualms on leaving find the noon?”

The sharp cry of the meandering city
Thrives on slapdash letters, in cheap, restless dives
Therein reside, the silent concerto of our drifting
Where individual voices drown, and no love

Masquerade at Windsor Hall

Gallant sirs and debutantes arriving at the ball.
A masquerade on friday night, down at Windsor Hall.
Cocktail's flowing, band is playing, winner takes it all!
By the time the party's done it's on the floor they'll crawl.

Silk-laced gowns and three-piece suits and faces that are masked.
Homely Archduke's daughter's there (surprised that she was asked!).
Woodford twins arrived at ten (weren't asked and so they crashed!).
Gals of Downton also came, in adulation basked.

Truth be told, behind the masks and costumes made of wool,
are rotten chaps and spoiled debs who suffer not a fool.
And if you think these words of mine are harsh or mean or cr

She Walks In LightShe walks in light down darkened paths
Despite the demons that hide within
She pays no mind to their siren calls
Nor a glance toward them does she send
With each and every burdened step
She knows the task she must complete
Though heavy fate rests on her shoulders
She can not stop to rest her feet
Through the shadows all around her
She must carry on
Even though she's terrified
Until the glowing break of dawn
Within us all the darkness lies
Afraid of light inside our souls
It's for us to shine that light
For us to make ourselves whole.
-Illuminate the darkness.

I aint made of paintI aint made of paint.

I'm made of concrete.

Your the one who kicked me off my feet.

Look past the picture.
Look past the scriptures.
Look closer, look deeper.

How bout
for once, you be the brush

How bout
for once, you shut up and hush.

You the mortal and pestle,
my spirits you crushed.

Into fine grain, into fine dust.

Your form the colors!
You sculpt the bust!

I aint made of paint

I aint acrylics.
I aint oils.
I aint water color.

We are no art scholars.

But,
listen good.
Listen close.

Next time you don't like, when i'm feeling blue.

I refuse, to paint a picture for you.

Slow and SteadyCrowds of people rush around,
their steaming coffee in one hand and phone in the other,
while they juggle their problems and all of their emotions
and claim that everyone around them is a bother.
Caught in such a frenzy, they push their way
through the slow and steady that block their path,
for they're already running far too late
to even consider slowing down or turning back.
Where they are trying to go, I haven't the slightest idea,
but even if I asked, they'd surely be far too preoccupied
ignoring everything else as they sip their cold coffee
and stare at their phone, wondering how the battery already died.

Red-Eyed EgoOn a dying tree, in a forest of lush,
sat a lone crow, whose red eyes
scanned every stone, branch and bush
in that vast land.
The wind picked up, carrying the leaves
that had fallen from that tree,
which the crow strongly believed
was her only home.
It needed not a single leaf, nor
a shred of life, for all it needed
was to stand, to help the crow explore
and see everything that surrounded her.
She required no love, nor a single friend,
so long as her tree stood tall
in that forest, until the end -
all she wanted was the sight.
With her piercing eyes, that crow saw
everything that could be seen -
she saw every virtue and every flaw
that exist

LifeIf we really think about life, then we soon realise;
we're nothing but a splatter of blood, on a killer's knife.

walking corpse syndromerotting bones in a coffin of flesh
why havent i been buried just yet
i wait, i ache, i slowly decay
why is my body treated this way

i'm only a ghost inside of a corpse
oxygen kills and it's starting to work
but everything seems to move far too slow
i'm like a puppet, alive just for show

Shut inDon’t mock me, or block me
from taking my stance;
A pity, the city
is caught in a trance.

If only the lonely--
the rich and the poor,
Admit it, we did it!
By shutting our door.

I’d doubt it, without it,
We’d crumble in ruin;
Still, steady, already
forgot what we’re doin’,

We chide the society
for shutting us in--
When really, the “silly”
was us to begin.

time to grow uplife feels personal but it's not
woes befall by scattershot
what's happening now has happened before
what does not pertain we learn to ignore

you pray for a break you want a promise
it is what it is there is no justice

llp - dA - may2013

Sins of the FleshThey're gazing in their mirror eyes
Full of loving longing and filthy longing
And moist-meat sounds that turn
My stomach at the thinking of.
They rut, my friends, and damn themselves.
I envy the damned, their ignorance.
Their love looks like lust to loveless eyes.

And as such, I can see them rutting
Whenever I close my eyes
And the thought itself disgusts me.
And in the ending of their tryst
They pool together into one.

They strut and rut in the streets
That burn in lust beneath my eyes.
Would that a tide would wash away
Oh that a tide of fire would burn away
And cleanse this world of its filth!

Yet one day, in a possible future,
I may be

ThinkingStronger and stronger i may i might,
Why have i sat here all tonight,
Thinking and thinking but not alone,
What am i thinking for someone to know?
I sit i wish i will move on,
But its just another step on,
Live the life that you want,
For its the life you caught.

this world will offer...this world will offer a tie for my trust
but no government can raise life from the dust

so i got to remember the truth that resides
when ile follow my heart instead of the lies

that everyones spewd whether like it or not
who knows wut is best in a place that will rot?

so just smile and think 'wut a fool is that guy'
hes not going to college he'll be shoed as a fly

and tho i may not be on record or known
we'll all be remembered for wut we have sown

not wut we have reaped or wut we may claim
achievements or 'honors' as fame is a game

and 'trusty' employers will say they know why
and demanding u orders to follow, or 'bye'

but i got to ask

Chasing hidden light

Water rolls off of pristine petals
Far beyond the beauty of moist metals

The organic life fighting for the outside
Wanting a life the cage seems to hide

Customary blooms of a sacred nature
Alloy of a colder nomenclature

But beauty always finds a way
No matter the sunlight given through the day

To brake the bonds of a confined space
A battle so many in life have faced

Yet like a broke heart that only wants to decay
The side of the fence has a better light….and I want her to stay.

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Just a memoryDo you realize how you make me feel?
I feel so invisible..
it's like to you, i'm not real-
you look right through me

I am just a memory,
never meant anything to you,
you never actually cared about me,
only how tight my jeans were.

Oh how you got lost in my blonde hair,
but when we talked
it was like you weren't even there,
all i get is a blank stare.

you gave me that kiss
and for some reason i fell so hard for you,
and I was lost in this-
this false sense of comfort

after all the tears you made me cry,
why can't i move on..
Why do i still long to gaze into your eyes
long to feel your arms around me?

I fought so hard to kee

Continueally meI'm so sick of myself,
and everyone around,
I once had self wealth,
but now im stuck in a down,

With no one by my side,
I can't handle my own mind,
so this pain i hide,
and i try to be kind,

to these demons that stalk me ,
maybe they'll go away?
so i can lay down my armor finally-
but no, not today,

they'll keep on coming,
so i'll keep on trying,
continueally numbing,
continueally dying..

why do i fight so hard,
if no one needs me anyway?
someday i'll go away far
then maybe things will be okay.

The car rideI thought you looked at me, noticed me,
but you were just switching lanes,
why can't we be,

close like other brothers and sisters?
do you tell your friends, your sisters cool,
or that you'll miss her,

when you go away?
because I'm going to miss you,
and can't prevent that day.

I just want to get to know you,
so I have a few memories to quiet my tears,
I wish you wanted to know me too.

~To my brother Nick~

why she crysRemembering back when,
she was so young,
the thoughts that would fill her mind,
pain was not amoung-

oh how she loved to smile,
but then,
she was violated,
by her oldest friend,

someone she looked up to,
thought she could trust,
and just like that,
all she knew faded to dust.

felt like nobody cared,
so worthliss,
sometimes even wanting,
death's immortal kiss,

with no one to help her out,
feeling constantly alone,
dying inside,
and never letting it be known-

people want to help,
but she pushes them away,
makes the feel,
the pain she felt each day,

these fears she keeps,
locked so deep inside,
make her feel so weak,

SickMy insides are turning
inside out, upside down,
as I keep learning,
I'm all alone in this town,

you walk right by me,
don't care to know who I even am,
the pain you didn't bother to see,
you never gave a damn,

I shouldn't be surprised,
that you were never really there,
you act doesnt fool these eyes,
I always knew you never really cared.

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[x]

the raindrops of my mind

by ~Nobodysfool10490, May 3, 2005, 3:44:17 PM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Traditional Fixed Forms

The rain has come once more
        and the clouds begin to cry
I'm drowning in their tears
        once more i want to die

just standing here, letting the raindrops kiss my cheek

The sun was supposed to come out long ago
         I've been wishing so hard for it
To come and take my hand so
         I can pull out of the deep puddle of insanity

falling down so hard upon me, my knees begin to feel weak

I'm completely drenched-
         It's been pouring so long
now I'm dancing in the rain
         if only i had this lack of caring all along

so much water all around, dont even see my own eyes begin to leak

So now you decide to come
         to dry up all the anguish
Now you come
         to attempt to take away the pain

You're too late, I've accepted the ebb of the rain so bleak

DONT TRY TO SAVE ME
        leave me here today-
let the rain keep falling
         i deserve to stay.

the raindrops of my mindby ~Nobodysfool10490

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Traditional Fixed Forms

its pretty self explanitoty...

~themonsterlovedbyGod May 16, 2005 Professional Photographer

that's so sad...

nice nice poem.

~Nobodysfool10490 May 16, 2005

thank you very much

~Ralterling May 5, 2005 Writer

this was beautiful, some of your best work

but also very sad, you know im always here for you when you need a good talk. and concert is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok im gonna stop with the smileys now

~Nobodysfool10490 May 5, 2005

lol hahah i love ur smileys its ok. thanks so much and it makes me so happy just cuz i actually know that u are there. no doubts lol. im so excited for the concert and....coffeehouse.... hehe ill talk to ya about it tommaro in english

~Ralterling May 5, 2005 Writer

we are such sketchballs

~Nobodysfool10490 May 8, 2005

hahah i kno....

i cant wait tho!!! its gunna be so much fun

*cough* especially for u if doug is there.... hehe

~ToTheMoonAndBack May 3, 2005

Once again, I must say that this is another great poem! The imagery is very descriptive, and it really helps show the emotion of depression. Very sad.

~Nobodysfool10490 May 4, 2005

thank you!!! it isnt the best feeling to have but im glad i got it out.

thanks again!

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the raindrops of my mind

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